Sunday, December 31, 2006

New Years Resolutions Suck

It's New Year's Eve. The boys at Kiss Me Suzy have posted an itinerary for the night that pretty much parallels mine:

"I'll drink a nice toast to the awesome power of my penis, have a Lindt truffle, offer sex to the Mrs., fail, and then call it a night."

Seeing as my day tomorrow will probably be spent moving (with a brief stop to watch Michigan crush the University of Spoiled Children), I'd better get those pesky New Year's Resolutions out of the way now.

This is a fruitless exercise for most. It's like giving up shit for Lent - you usually pick something that either (a) you won't miss at all over the next 40 days, or (b) is sooo hard to give up you break your vow before the week is out. And then you feel crappy for about 15 minutes. Just long enough to finish that 3 pound box of See's Candy. Nice restraint, Mitch.

But I'm serious this year. It's time to be serious. And since this is a Sports Site, you can guess the theme.

The Angry Rant's New Year's Resolutions:

1. I will hit .600 in 2007 (assuming I get the same number of AB as this year, that's 15 more hits. Easily doable).
2. I will learn to dive for sinking line drives.
3. I will learn to drive to the hospital with a concussion after attempting to dive for a sinking line drive.
4. I will run for more than 4 minutes without my back spasming so bad I can barely walk back to the gym (maybe it is the shoes).
5. I will pleasure my wife whenever she askes me to (that's a SPORT, baby!).
6. I will lose 11 pounds in 2007 (see #5).
7. I will swim 450m in under 7 minutes. (shitty competitive swimming time, GREAT Navy time).
8. I will broaden my subject matter to other sports-related topics besides the World Champion St. Louis Cardinals.

Stay safe, and Happy New Year.

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